The Day I Decided To Code

You ever sit in a chair and know that you’re on solid ground, but still feel like you’re sinking? That was a feeling I found myself constantly having, it still occurs now however the more I toiled about the more I began to realize the origination of this feeling. I was always the type that liked to move forward and never stop and I had been given a unique opportunity that came about through Covid-19.

Pulling myself out of my self loathing funk of unfulfillment and realized that so much time had been given to me. My job had closed their office and a long with my team we managed to set the entire infrastructure of the business to operate beautifully remotely. I have been an IT specialist for over a decade, and before I knew it years had passed me by and I was stagnant at the same level. Comfortability is a killer, and I admit that I had become comfortable originally stepping into IT in order to attain more money than the normal person at my age at the time.

Fastforwarding to the present, I now realize I don’t have a passion for IT at all. Although I wouldn’t consider it a waste of time, the money has helped my family and I attain a certain level of comfortability that in turn lead to stagnation however recently this dive into self has made what I love apparent to me. I found myself thinking back through my career and asked “Was there ever time I was actually happy?” and Miraculously there was.

During my time at my current company there was a section where my team was between bosses. One boss that we had was not really a hands type of boss so my team and I (with no apparent leader) were essentially a lone in a period we deemed the wild west. Anything and everything was possible, and i’m not going to lie it was great. The company was in a transitional period and we had a lot of freedom, we still got our work done but that’s not the point of this flashback.

The point is that there were times we’d have to write commands into powershell and although it’s not writing code technically I actually enjoyed that feeling. The more I searched that feeling the more I realized that I love to create, I like writing stories, I play D&D A LOT and DM D&D and other TTRPGS getting people to play in my worlds. So I took the time to explore once I realized this.

I landed on coding, I attempted to teach myself but this introspective journey taught me one thing. I perform and function better when I have incentives to push me, the end goal isn’t enough and the most important thing for a human being to do is to learn themselves and who they are and how they tick. So I made the decision to apply for school and study my ass off and this is the beginning of my journey I will post more and update as I continue lets see if this road swallows me or will I attain absolution at the end of this.